Dec 142013
 
Mack Brown and Nick Saban share a smile before the 2010 BCS title game won by Alabama. (Associated Press file)

Mack Brown and Nick Saban before the 2010 BCS title game. (Associated Press file)

By Finebaum Fan.

The University of Alabama Head Coach Nick Saban and The University of Texas Head Coach Mack Brown are friends.

Texas Coach Mack Brown on the Tim Brando Show:

“Nick is a friend and he’s done a tremendous job at Alabama.  Nick’s not trying to get my job, I mean, I know Nick.  So I don’t have to worry about that.”

Is it outside the realm of possibility that the two may have planned for a mutually beneficial resolution to the “Saban to Texas” story?

This is my summation.  It may be closer to the truth than some of the other stories you have been reading.

You know the tune

 

The Devil Went Down To Texas

“The Devil” went down to Texas, he was lookin’ for some money to steal,
he was in a bind ’cause the Tide fans whined, and he was willing to make a deal.
When he came across a buddy sitting on a seat and saying, “It’s hot!”,
Nick Saban jumped up on a pasture fence and said, “Mack Brown, let me tell you what.”

“I bet you surely know it – that I’m a ball coach, too.
And, if you’d care to take a dare; I’ll make a bet for you.
Now, you coach some pretty good football, Mack, but give ol’ Nick his due.
I’ll get a contract of gold and save your soul ’cause they think I’m better than you.”

Then Mack said, “You know, it’s funny and it might make me grin,
you make that bet; and they’re gonna regret ’cause you’re the best that’s ever been.”

Nicky, you open up your pen and coach your football hard.
‘Cause Hell’s broke loose in Texas and Jim Sexton deals the cards.
And if you win you get a shiny contract made of gold,
But if you lose, Bevo get’s your soul.

Ol’ Red opened up his book and he said,”I’ll write this check.”
And fire flew from his Montblanc pen and he gave ol’ Mack heck.
And he pulled the pen across the check – he knew he couldn’t miss.
And a herd of longhorns joined right in and sounded something like this.

“There’re rumors in Texas;  Gone, Mack, gone!”
“When Saban get’s here, we’ll be number one!”
“Miss Terry flew to Texas looking for a home.”
“You know Nick Saban loves to roam!”

“They’re firing in Austin; Run, Mack, run!”
“Nick Saban’s in the house of the burning orange.”
“Miss Terry’s in Austin!  It’s all done!”
“Bama, is the money tight?  Hook ’em horns!”

When McCombs finished, Saban said, “Well, you’re pretty good ol’ son,
But sit right down at that bar right there and let ME show you how it’s done.”

“They’re hiring in Austin; Pride, Mack, Pride!”
“Nick Saban’s in the house of the Rollin’ Tide!”
“Jimmy’s in T-town looking for dough.”
“Miss Terry, is the house right?  No, child, no.”

“Here comes Bevo;  Run, boys, run!”
“Nick Saban’s here to have a little fun.”
“Jimmy’s in T-town picking up dough.”
“Miss Terry move to Texas?  No, child, no.”

The Longhorn bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat.
And he laid that golden contract on the ground at Saban’s feet.
Nicky said, “Bevo, just come on back if you ever wanna try again.
‘Cause I’ve told you once, in two thousand ten, I’m the best coach ever been!”

“There’s a hiring in Austin; Mack Is Back!”
“Nick Saban’s smilin’ with a new contract.”
“Jimmy’s in T-town spending his dough.”
“Nick Saban To Texas?  No, Hell, no!”

 

Contact me if you’re interested in making a recording to share on this site.

Nov 272013
 

It’s that time of year again – “Iron Bowl” week.

Follow the history of the Alabama Crimson Tide and Auburn Tigers rivalry through the voices of the announcers who broadcast the games.

Listen to the often requested “Iron Bowl Montage”:

Play 2013 Iron Bowl Montage

Listen To More Finebaum Audio Clips
Oct 252013
 
"Rocky Top Y'all"

Tennessee’s Uniforms For Saturday’s Game

Birmingham radio legend, Courtney Haden, produced this parody song for The Paul Finebaum Show several years ago.

In his production, Haden impersonated Alistair Cooke, the host of the Public Broadcasting Service’s Masterpiece Theater.

Haden narrates his version of a “Masterpiece Classic”, “The Meaning Of Rocky Top” to a backdrop of Lynn Anderson’s hit “Rocky Top” – The University of Tennessee’s adopted fight song.

“Rocky Top” was written by married songwriting duo Boudleaux Bryant (1920–1987) and Felice Bryant (1925–2003) in 1967.

I wonder if they have any relatives in Morro Bottom, Arkansas?

From Wikipedia.
With its good-natured regional references to a carefree lifestyle, the singing of “Rocky Top” by Tennessee college students and alumni at sports venues such as Neyland Stadium is well established. House of Bryant has granted the University of Tennessee a perpetual license to play the song as much and as often as success on the field dictates. Longtime director W. J. Julian created a marching band arrangement that was first played at Tennessee’s October 21, 1972, game against the University of Alabama.

Play Courtney Haden - Rocky Top Parody

The Girls of Rocky Top
Lyrics to “Rocky Top”
Wish that I was on ole Rocky Top,
Down in the Tennessee hills.
Ain’t no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top,
Ain’t no telephone bills.
Corn won’t grow at all on Rocky Top,
Dirt’s too rocky by far.
That’s why all the folks on Rocky Top
Get their corn from a jar.
Once there was a girl on Rocky Top,
Half bear the other half cat.
Wild as a mink, sweet as soda pop,
I still dream about that.
Rocky Top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole Rocky Top,
Rocky Top Tennessee, Rocky Top Tennessee.
Rocky Top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole Rocky Top,
Rocky Top Tennessee, Rocky Top Tennessee.
Now I’ve had years of cramped up city life,
Trapped like a duck in a pen.
Now all I know is it’s a pity life
Can’t be simple again.
Once two strangers climbed on Rocky Top,
Lookin’ for a moonshine still.
Strangers ain’t come back from Rocky Top,
Guess they never will.
Rocky Top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole Rocky Top,
Rocky Top Tennessee, Rocky Top Tennessee.
 Rocky Top Tennessee, Rocky Top Tennessee.
Yeah Rocky Top Tennessee eee eee eee.
Sep 022013
 

by Finebaum Fan

Headlines broke out around the country last week declaring that sports radio talk show host Paul Finebaum had co-written a county music song. Although many knew he had signed a major book deal, few, if any, were aware of his musical aspirations.

It came as quite a surprise to fans of the hard-hitting talk show host that he had co-written “Here and My Crazy Dreams,” with accomplished Muscle Shoals songwriter, Walt Aldridge.

The Paul Finebaum Show airs weekdays on regionally-syndicated ESPN Radio and is know far and wide for its cast of somewhat eclectic callers.


What If?

As I sit in my recliner writing this post in a forty-odd hour state of sleep deprivation, I begin to wonder. “What if he hadn’t co-written that song?”, “What if he had written it alone?”, “What if he really could sing?”, and “What if it became a hit?”

My lack of sleep is beginning to overtake my consciousness.  My head is spinning…

Can’t you just see it?

The 2014 Country Music Awards

Paul Finebaum, song writer and lead singer of his own band, is introduced at The 2014 Country Music Awards by master of ceremonies, “The Legend”, in a way that would make MMA announcer Dave Davis envious.

The Beatles Entering Shea Stadium

The Beatles at Shea Stadium

Paul and his entourage enter the arena like the Beatles entering Shea Stadium. Grown men tear up, grown women swoon, teen-aged girls scream and salivate. Young men emulate Paul by wearing khaki pants and University of Alabama coaching staff polos – both about four sizes too large. Hoards of fans known as “Finebammers” flock from as far away as Waterloo, Iowa for the performance.

The arena echoes the chant, “Paaawwwlll”, Paaawwwlll, Paaawwwlll” as Paul takes center stage.

Behind Paul, eager to share the fame, is his band: “I-Man” on lead guitar, “Jeff from Chicago” on base, and “Jim from Crestwood” on keyboards. Seated in the rear, “Ringo style”, is “Darriel from Columbus”… ready to pound the drums instead of his chest.

Singing harmony with Paul is velvet-voiced “Charles” whose vocal chords were delicately honed calling little league games for the radio station back home in Reeltown.

His backup singers are adorned in white polyester pants suits studded with crimson rhinestones. Known simply as the “Finebaumettes”, they are: (right to left) “Tammy”, “Mildred”, and “Phyllis from Mulga”.

Joe Namath – circa1960. Beaver Falls Basketball

His lone groupie, screaming wildly just below center stage, is “Jim from Tuscaloosa”. (He could have written AND performed the song better than Paul if only he had concussed the left side of his brain instead of the right in that pickup basketball game with Joe Namath.)  Jim tosses his boxers onstage.  Paul picks them up, winks, and tells Jim, “You are the best!”

Paul Finebaum and Danny Sheridan

Stage left, standing in deep shadows just beyond a long pine box, is his manager, Danny Sheridan – face freshly painted by his near-sighted makeup artist from central Florida. Danny is spouting odds and taking bets on how long Finebaum’s fame will last.

The houselights lights dim. The crowd grows silent with anticipation.

Suddenly, someone seated high above in a VIP box, lets out a rousing “A’ight!” Who is it? I’m not sure – maybe it’s God. Once again, pandemonium breaks out and the crowd works itself into a frenzy.

Without warning, the spotlight splits the cannabis-smoke-filled air floating above the crowd. It cuts through the cracks of the panama hat (rolled up to resemble that of a cowboy) and beams directly from the top of Paul’s head.  To the delight of the crowd, it creates the illusion of a dancing disco ball.

Then – it happens.

The sweet sounds fill the arena;

 I could stay like they thought I would –

Live the way they all said I should.

But every day, I’d have to live caught in between

Here and my crazy dreams.

Alabama and Texas A&M fans join hands and sway back and forth in time with the music. They are joined by Vols and Tigers and Bears (oh my!) and all manner of mascot-wearing SEC fans.  It’s as if they have all joined around a campfire to sing choruses of “Kumbaya”. Peace, harmony, and tranquility threaten to spread all across the conference.  Animosity – the very fabric that holds the conference together is in danger of being eliminated.

As the last notes flutter into the night, Paul looks up and flashes an omniscient smile.  He senses a particular Bama fan, looking down from above, and acknowledges him under his breath with a simple “RTR”.

Other acts follow – but none can compare.

Surely this performance will be followed by awards and accolades as never before seen in Nashville.

At the end of the evening, Paul’s name is called and he works his way back on stage. Randy Owen and Bocephus himself are waiting to present Paul with his award for “Songwriter/Artist of the Year“.

Tennessee’s favorite son, Paul Finebaum, has come home. And finally… finally… he has made Tennessee proud.


The Legendary Chupacabra

The Legendary Chupacabra

An unearthly shrill launches me out of my recliner and three feet into the air.  Was I being attacked by a chupacabra? As I settle back into my chair and reality, I realize it’s just Tammy screaming something about Robert E. Lee and how he played quarterback for Auburn or some such nonsense.

In the future, I really need to make sure I get more sleep. I don’t think I can handle another episode getting caught in between here and my crazy dreams.

And, oh yeah, there really is a song.

Play Here and My Crazy Dreams By Walt Aldridge and Paul Finebaum